Control Issues?

Since becoming a parent, I have learned far more from my children than I ever learned at any educational institution. Mostly I learn that I think I know what I'm doing, but then I quickly figure out that I don't generally have a clue. I think that part of the problem is that I had Matthew first. He is a great kid. He's always been a great kid. Sure, I spent his first year of life trying to figure out how to parent a baby. Then we spent some toddler years chasing his fast little heinie all over creation. Then we had to potty train a boy and well, that's just different plumbling than I'm used to. He had to have his tonsils removed at 3, and then had a fairly serious blood disorder at age 5 (that lasted a year). So, we had our challenges. Mostly though, we just had a false sense of security.

So then Rachel came along. We waited five long, difficult years for her. Maybe the Powers Above knew that we really, really, Really had to want this baby. The sweet little gal screamed for a solid year because she had such horrible reflux and colic. She finally outgrew that - thank heaven above, but has kinda kept on screaming. :) Rachey is, as the old Russian ladies in Patricia Polacco's books say, "such a person." We love her fiercely -- she is the sweetest, funniest, dearest little thing. At the same time, she is the strongest little spirit that sometime struggles to be squished into a little body. In short, in September of 2005, our sense of security was shattered...into smithereens.

Toilet training Rachel was completely different than it had been for her older brother. We exercised a LOT of patience. For her the key was kind of following her lead and not letting the whole thing become a power struggle. It worked. It was on her terms and happened really quickly when she decided she was ready. It was almost over night and she did awesome. There are indeed more details to the whole process, but none that are pertinent to us at this moment. So even though she did great, as a parent, I was still, for a long time, very cautious. As I don't so much enjoy cleaning up waste fluids, when the girl says she has to go, I jump. You know how little kids are - they wait until the last bitter second and then panic. Even though she's been a proud member of the "big girl panties club" for quite a long time now, she still is infamous for the very last second "I gotta go potty!" panic. This brings us to the present and our bathroom dilemma.

Every single time I take this child into a public place, you guessed it, she's gotta go. It doesn't matter if she just went to the bathroom right before we left the house 15 minutes prior. After a while, one starts to wonder if this 3 year old is legit. Is she crying wolf?? Remember me who doesn't like cleaning up accidents -- especially in public? She says she needs to go, and mostly I don't dare tell her no. Sometimes I throw caution into the wind and tell her to wait. This is the kicker, though - not to give too much potty info, but every single time I take her potty; she goes. Does the girl have a never-ending supply of urine? Does she ration it so she can visit every bathroom in Logan, Utah? I know she has at least decent bladder control because she goes all night without accidents. But, when we're standing in the dairy aisle at Walmart and she's doing the dance with a vengeance, I panic and drag the whole program to the bathroom. One time, just jokingly, I asked her if she really had to go or if she just wanted to check out the bathroom. She said "both."

So in the meantime, I think I've seen just about every bathroom in town. At least the bathrooms in every place we visit in town. We've been to large bathrooms with automatic toilets, sinks, and towel dispensers. We've been ushered to tiny dark employee-only bathrooms through mazes of halls in the back of small businesses where you use bar soap and tear the paper towel off a roll of Brawney. I actually find myself noticing and admiring colors and tile. Sadly, I have my favorites - clean, big stalls, nice smelling soap. If she sounds the cry in one of those places, it's a smidge better.

I guess for now it will remain a mystery as to what kind of "control issues" we're dealing with. Until we either figure it out or she just outgrows this phase, I'll see you in the bathrooom.